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When going on a first date with a Dutchman, the Shallow Man’s first piece of advice is to not react in shock, disgust or reach for the sunglasses if, as is highly probable, he turns up wearing a pair of bright red jeans.
This is considered by many Dutch men to be the height of chic and elegance.
Take a salad strainer or colander, put this over your head and then turn on the tap for 30 seconds.
Leave your hair wet, then put on a heavy metal song and shake your head in time to the selected track for another three minutes.
Don’t hum the tune to the Lion sleeps tonight while running your hands through his hair.
Dutchmen and Brown Shoes go together like Drones and dead civilians, Amsterdam and high apartment rental costs and Miley Cyrus and bad taste.
Think of Ahab’s quest for Moby Dick, John Ford chasing the elephant, Wile E Coyote’s hopeless pursuit of the Road Runner or Tom’s obsessive and hazardous campaign to capture Jerry.do not under any circumstances display any individuality in case you stand out.If you do manage to bag yourself a Dutchmen, and end up moving in with him, you’ll be the witness to an incredible transformation. Dutch women, even though they typically only contribute less than 25% of income to the household, firmly rule the roost and wear the trousers at home.Since the dawn of time, man has risked life and limb to hunt down its prey.The lovely Jasmina Suljanovic, Olga Khristianovskayam (as Lady Gaga said to her backing dancer, that’s a mouthful) and Niamh Ni Bhroin have reached out to their Uncle Shallow Man for advice on how to capture that most exclusive, reclusive and elusive of prey, the Dutch male.